It's funny how certain moments in our lives, whether it is listening to a song, reading a book, or even going to a doctor's appointment (especially if you have one as awesome as mine) can get me thinking about something in such a way that I almost immediately start writing in my head. This is Spirit guiding me, sending me messages, offering a chance to heal.
For instance, this morning I heard the song, "Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkel. I'm showing my age if you don't know who they are and as my best friend's mom would say, "Girl, we gotta get you some culture!"
Anyway, hearing this song this morning, made me think of a friend of mine I went to high school with. I think I had every math class with him and quite a few others. We hung out often as we had the same friends and well as he was friends with my high school boyfriend. They were also in drama together, so I went to every single showing of every single play they ever put on. His name was Jon Davern. He passed away years ago ~ gosh I think it has been 13 years now. He was going home after visiting friends in this area, driving his motorcycle and was hit in a high-speed police chase. I don't remember if the police or the person they were pursuing hit him. It doesn't matter. It was sad, tragic and heartbreaking ~ it took my breath away when I had heard the news. I think it was one of the first times in my young adult life, that I really understood how brief life can be and how confusing it can be that when "the good die young."
I hadn't seen Jon since high school or maybe a little after, but I'll always remember him. He was funny and an all around good guy. And he always stood up for me, at a time in my life where I was having difficulty. My boyfriend didn't take too kindly to it and even though every time Jon did, I got the brunt of it, there was still a part of me that was so moved that he had said something. I felt so invisible in high school, partially from my own doing, but I also often wondered how teachers and other students could be so snowed by a person like my high school boyfriend and have no clue about what was going on. I could write a whole book on Teen Domestic Violence, but hey, that may be for another day. (Though, I will say, if you do know someone in this situation, DO NOT talk to the person who's the aggressor ~ this will only make it worse for the other party. No, I don't have a Sociology or Psychology degree, but I experienced this first hand.)
For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how Jon could stay friends with a guy like that. I suppose guys are different that way. The point of me sharing all of this is I heard the song, "Cecilia" this morning. It was one of Jon's favorites and he use to sing it in the hallways or at get togethers and would drive people crazy. I loved it. It was one of my favorite songs, as I often listened to the "oldies" station growing up. Every time I have heard this song over the years, I think of Jon and I can hear his hearty laugh. Ahh, the good ole limbic system. So amazing, how certain memories can come flooding back.
Even though you are with Spirit now, you are not ever forgotten Jon. Thanks for the positive memories, especially from such a challenging time in my life. I'm sorry I didn't attend your funeral, I knew he was going to be speaking at your funeral and I just couldn't do it. I was still gathering my strength, which I hate to admit to this day. I hope you heard my prayers for you. And I hope you know that you mattered.
Thanks for reminding me that I did matter then. I matter now. I can say I wish I didn't go through all of that in high school (or ever, really) and yet, now I have a strength, a knowledge and guidance to pass onto my own daughter, so she can stand strong in herself, in her power, and her let her Light shine... Just like her mama. :)
P.S. If you are a parent or grandparent and want to help guide your girls with healthy, positive body image, self esteem, etc. ~ check out the FB page, A Mighty Girl. It has GREAT reference material. We can never start too young!
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