Sunday, January 26, 2014

R - E - S - P- O - N - S - I - B - L - I - T - Y

I started to write another post this morning.  After finishing the first sentence, I was cued to write about something else that I have been churning in my brain for a while.

Responsibility.  Responsibility, you may ask?  I know this may sound odd, but this has been bugging me for quite a while.  It has occurred to me several different times that people often misuse this term and mostly due to not really understanding what the word actually means.

I suppose, that part of this is because of dictionary definitions, such as in "Webster's".
The word responsible is defined in the dictionary as follows: 1)  Having to account for one's actions: answerable.  2)  Having a duty or obligation.  3)  Being a source or cause.  4)  Dependable.  5)  Involving important duties or obligations.

Now, when it comes to the law, our whole judicial system has been based on definition number one... you did this act, so now your responsibility is to be punished for it ~ but with more ferocity and almost a pointing of the fingers kind of attitude, that someone must pay.   It is also interesting to me that people often use the second/fifth definition.  That being responsible means to have to do something.

People are forgetting to really listen to what the word actually means.  Being responsible, if you break the word down: response... able...  if we put that all together, the word actually means able or ability to respond.  Our society loves to use this word, as a form of punishment as well as a source of blame.  You are the reason why this happened and now you must be punished.  I will be honest, after experiencing the aftermath of Doug's accident, my views on laws and jail sentences has changed quite a bit.  (I will share more on this later).  And maybe all of it comes down to this ridiculous word called responsibility that a large percentage of people really don't use appropriately.  The word responsibility goes beyond what we think in society is being responsible... holding down a job, owning a house, paying bills on time, etc.  The term responsibility goes much deeper than that and actually has a very positive meaning.

Responsibility is an affirmation in a way... yes, this happened in my life.  I am taking responsibility, or able to respond by owning that this has indeed happened.  This is my life.  The word responsibility is really about accepting and turning something that an individual, a group, or even on a larger scale, i.e. society, foresees as negative, and turns it into a positive and gives power back to the individual, regardless of their situation.    (Financial issues, abuse and assault survivors (notice I didn't say victim ~ the term survivor gives them their power back), or something such as in our case, where there was a really bad accident.)

I will most definitely have more to share on the subject and being honest, I'm still terrified to do so.  But I'm realizing one of my purposes is to Speak My Truth and to share it.  I believe deep down in my heart, I am able to respond... one of my abilities to respond is to Speak My Truth, no matter how scary it may be for me.  Sometimes, it just takes longer to put all of that into action.  But one thing that I have felt very strongly about, especially ever since that fateful, miserably hot and humid July night ~ that I have the ability to respond.  It would be completely selfish of me to have gone through this experience, to have hit rock bottom, to come out on the other side and not share it.  To not share our story and to not give people some information that could quite possibly help them on their way.  I'm not going to Speak My Truth, out of duty or obligation.  I'm going to Speak My Truth and share because I Can.  I have the ability.  

 Contrary to popular belief, we are not here because it is every person for themself.... we are here to help one another.   And Spirit works through us to do so.  I cannot tell you how many times I have opened a book, and thankfully, someone was brave enough to share their story, and how much I felt like I was being guided along the way... that that book was written for me, to help me, so I can be who I am meant to be.  I will be bold enough to say, even if it may sound arrogant to some, but that is part of my purpose and part of my gift to this world, and I dare say, Spirit is whispering and knocking on my door.  Every. Single. Day.

I'm going to leave you with this quote that I heard years ago on the TV show, ER.  Silly as it may seem, but the words were quite powerful for me and have always stayed with me.  Dr. Bennett's mother was in town visiting and he was going through a rough time.  I think he had an injury or something and it shook up his confidence, he felt like quitting.  His mother said, "God gave you a gift.  What you do with that gift, is your gift back to God."

Gives me goosebumps every time...

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Our Newest Chapter

Since I have last written, we have had quite a few positive changes in our humble abode.  I have already announced on my FB page, that Doug finished his three year post prison supervision!  Yeah!  Our transition has been seamless... I suspected that for months, I'd continually ask him if he had his trip permit every time we headed into Washington.  Yesterday, was actually the first time, that I almost asked him, and then remembered, "Oh yeah, we don't have to worry about that anymore." :)  Seems like such a small thing, yet it so huge.  It is the little "pieces" of freedom, that so many of us take for granted each and every day.  We thank our lucky stars and have that much more appreciation for such things in life.

A few days after Christmas, Doug and I got our families together, and a couple of life long friends that are like an extended family to Doug, to celebrate with gratitude, the ending of his post prison supervision.  We had a celebration when he came home a little over three years ago.  I had wanted to do something special for Doug, and I toyed with different ideas and then I finally decided to just ask him what he wanted.  After all, this was his celebration, and it seemed most fitting to celebrate in the way he wanted to and with the people who mean the most to him.

It was a fun afternoon, yummy food is never in shortage in Doug's family, so we had a wonderful spread of deliciousness.  I had gotten two cakes from one of our favorite local bakeries, Tebo's.  We had gotten our wedding/vow renewal cakes there a couple of years ago and they are so wonderful, I decided to get a couple for Doug's celebration ~ with "Congratulations Doug!" on one, and "We Love You" on the other.

Towards the end of the afternoon, Doug called everyone into one room, and thanked everyone for their love and support, especially during the last handful of years.  Doug and I had a surprise for everyone and especially our parents... we had purchased two tiny hats and pairs of booties ~ giving one to my mother, and one to Doug's.  We had them open at the same time and Doug's mom was ecstatic... my mom couldn't figure it out right away (I think she was in shock) and then I said while laughing and crying a wee bit, "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!"  Her mouth dropped to the floor... definitely a Kodak moment.

So, we ended our afternoon and celebration of finishing one heartbreaking and beyond challenging chapter in our lives, and beginning a new fresh one, full of excitement, happiness and possibilities. :)